Concerns about being different

The recognition of extra intelligence often involves more than a technical assessment of compliance with three or more of five characteristics. That is why we use the term “essential identification” with three or more of the five characteristics: It is more than a clinical statement, certainly for those who are encountering the notion of extra intelligence (Xi) for the first time, and who identify themselves with it. It is the combination of character traits, an apparent pattern, that surprises people, and occasionally even shocks them:

We have heard reactions from clients like:

"How did you know that about me?"
"It’s 100% accurate!"
"But everybody has that, don’t they? (...I hope / I’ve always assumed)"

The shock or relief is related to the unexpected confirmation of something that the speaker has known deep within himself/herself but has kept hidden too often:

"I’m somehow different from other people."
"All my life I feel I have a secret."

This realisation of “being different,” certainly if this occurs at a young age, does little to instil a feeling of security in the individual. Many people therefore do their utmost to keep that feeling a secret, and try their best to behave normally. They acquire certain ideas why they just cannot be uncommonly intelligent, like:

"I often feel I am quite stupid."
"I always had difficulties understanding mathematics."
"I have not studied at an University."
"I am far too lazy."

Most often, after they have acknowledged their concern and emotions on the subject, XIPs are basically relieved to find out that their Xi is a most satisfactory explanation for many incomprehensible events in their lives.
Although it remains a very emotional topic, they ultimately do want to acknowledge their Xi.

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Concerns expressed by others

Many people feel surprised or even shocked when they consider that someone they know might be an XIP. Mostly this is because their own implicit expectations of what an XIP looks and behaves like do not conform to their assessment of the XIP under consideration. These expectations may be inspired by a somewhat romantic notion of giftedness.

But quite often the reason for their surprise or doubt is more trivial:
Possible XIPs may have caused quite a lot of irritation in their environment by their behaviour and overall performance. Negative attention and the assumption that “something is wrong here,” can be strong triggers for careful investigation. Thus when the conclusion tends to be that this rather difficult and unruly employee or family member is actually “very special,” a typical XIP, one may still feel somewhat awkward about it. Should one, or should one not be glad or grateful with XIPs on the premises?

We have heard statements like:

“She may be an XIP or not, but I will not tolerate that she gives all kinds of unasked-for advice.”
“Lots of talk, but little of value coming out of those hands.”
“He cannot even write a decent report on simple issues!”
“If she's so smart, why can't she manage her department properly?”

The intriguing part of those comments is that often blame may show the lead for fame: (self-) reproach points to unique quality. The qualities that can be most distinguishing may be also the qualities that attract irritation and resentment, because they are so different from the usual, and/or are too exaggerated or not appropriate for that position or job.